I feel like for the past several years I have been guilty of pretending to be a Christian. The interesting thing is that this revelation came to me through a box of "Milk Duds!" Yes, a box of Milk Duds. Today, I was at Wal-Mart picking up some pet food with my daughter, when all of a sudden I saw one of those giant tubs of $1 theatre size boxes of candy in the center isle. The Milk Duds were calling my name. So I thought "Hey its only a buck, why not." As I was walking out of the store with my pet food and box of candy, I began to feel quite proud of myself that the Milk Duds were the only thing that I bought that I would consider to be "wasteful." I mean who can go into Wal-Mart and not come out with something that you don't really need anyway?
I then had the craziest thought hit me. "What if before I ever spent a dollar on anything I asked myself the question, "Is this how Christ would want me to spend my money?" I thought, "Wow, that would really take a lot of discipline." I then thought, "What if before I did anything I asked myself the question, 'Is this how Christ would want me to spend my time.'" Once again my response was, "Wow, that would really take a lot of discipline."
My struggle with these questions is why I feel like I have been pretending to be a Christian. The term "Christian" literally means "little Christ." Obviously, I fall short of being like Christ in so many ways, but today what I am specifically feeling a heavy heart about is Christ's submission to the Father.
Listen to how he describes his submission to the Father in John 5:19-20 "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him everything he is doing."
There is no way I could honestly describe my life as "I only do what Christ tells me to do." I live a good life. I live a Godly life. When Christ tells me to do something, I try my best to follow his instructions. But the reality is, for the most part I typically do whatever I want. Obviously, not in a way that God's word says is sinful, but I am still in the driver's seat.
When I was five I "asked Jesus into my heart." I lived a good Godly life, but when I was a teenager I feel like I really submitted to the "Lordship" of Jesus Christ. Or in other words, I made Jesus the Boss or Master over my life. I became his slave. I consistently prayed "God whatever you want me to do, I will do it. Wherever you want me to go, I will go."
If I am really honest with myself, I don't want to pray that prayer any more because it seems too dangerous. What if he tells me to do something that I don't want to, or something I deem as to risky or costly. I would much rather pray, "God bless me today as I live my life in a way that I hope your OK with."
But there is a part of me that is tired of this safe predictable way of living. Also I feel like a hypocrite for preaching to others that to come to Christ you have to make him the master of your life, when I am not really doing that myself.
There is this old school bumper sticker that says "God is my co-pilot." That bumper sticker always made me mad, but I realize that I am guilty of that same way of thinking. I don't want God to be the pilot, I want him to be the co-pilot, giving me suggestions here and there to keep me from crashing. Making God the pilot means I lose control.
I am convinced that to really be a "Christian" means to become a slave of Christ. I haven't always been willing to be Christ's slave, but I choose again to make him my master. Yes, this may seem "radical" but that is the gospel. I refuse to live some watered down version of pretending to be a Christian. That means I take the time to ask the hard questions such as: Is this how Christ want's me to spend my time? Is this how Christ wants me to spend my money?
I conclude with asking you the craziest question you may have ever heard: "Would you consider becoming a slave with me?"
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