God Damn Pornography!

     I could take you back to the place where I was standing, when at 13 years old I saw my first pornographic image.  It was a playboy calendar my brother and I innocently found in a stack of discarded magazines.  In that moment, I felt like there was no turning back!

     My best “friend” at the time was also with us and we came up with a scheme on how we could get ourselves into a more private situation to peruse this calendar.  We then went to his house and gawked lustfully at each page for hours on end.  It was at this point that I began to feel extreme guilt over our newly acquired “treasure!” 

     I shared with my friend my sudden reservations about continuing to lust over these pages.  I just knew down deep inside that what we were doing was very wrong!  He blew off my conscience-stricken objections, and we went right back to what we were doing. 

     After I left his house, I vowed that I would never do that again!  I asked God for forgiveness and the strength to resist temptation in the future.  Months later my opportunity came when I returned to this friend’s house and he wanted to pull out the calendar and pick up where we left off.  I felt this courage rise up within me and I resolutely stated “I don’t do that anymore!” 

     I really felt like I was free!  I wish that I could say that was the end of my story, but it was only the beginning of a lifelong battle of temptation.  I have gone through a lot of ups and downs.  I am proud of the times when I have said “no” to temptation and ashamed of every time I have given in!

     I share this part of my story with you because I recently interacted with a young man who is struggling with the addiction of pornography.  He wants so desperately to be free, but feels like God could never forgive him for what he has done!  This young man’s story represents numerous young men that I have had the opportunity of counseling over the years. 

Pornography is the dirty secret that very few people in the church want to talk about!

It isn’t something that good clean Christians are supposed to struggle with!  

But we must talk about it!

Statistics tell us that porn is becoming more and more prevalent!  Nearly Two-Thirds of Christian men view pornography monthly! The average age of first exposure to pornography is 8 years old!

TWO REASONS THAT PORNOGRAPHY IS MORE PREVALENT THAN EVER BEFORE:

1.      Accessibility

Because of smart phones, you no longer have to sneak down to a sleazy adult magazine store to purchase pornography.  It is right in the palm of your hand.

2.      Anonymity 

You no longer have to be concerned about your parents, or spouse finding your stash of magazines.  The images on your electronic devices are gone at the click of a button.

I beg parents to have critical conversations with your kids about pornography! 

Do not assume that your kid doesn’t struggle with this issue!  

     I encourage father’s to go through the book “Preparing Your Son For Every Man’s Battle” with your son’s.  This is a phenomenal resource to empower you to have difficult conversations with your kids.  Give them permission to talk to you about this difficult subject.

     I made my son a promise that if he ever struggled with pornography and shared that with me that I would not get angry with him and that he would not be in trouble.  I have shared with him my own struggles as a teenager and have told him that I would do whatever it takes to help him.

     The longer I have engaged in this battle with pornography the more freedom God has brought into my life!

TWO KEYS TO FREEDOM FROM THE ADDICTION OF PORNOGRAPHY

1.      Authenticity

Being honest with yourself and God is the first step to freedom!

     One night many years ago, after I had looked at pornography I was talking to God.  I felt horrible and I was sick of the cycle I was going through.  I had this incredible revelation: “Pornography is not what I really want!”  In the moment, I think it is what I want, but it isn’t.  This has been critical to bringing freedom in my life.  Whenever I am tempted, I say to myself over and over again, “This is NOT what I really want!”

     I also have to admit when I am the most vulnerable to temptation.  I am weakest when I am tired, lonely, or feel far from God.  It is in these moments that I have to be more proactive at key #2

2.      Accountability 

We win life’s battles together!

     It was crucial for me that my wife knew about my struggle with pornography even before we got married.  Confessing that to her was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I knew it was critical to the success of our marriage.  If you struggle with pornography, don't struggle alone!  

     I have also pursued strategic relationships with other men that hold me accountable.  I have given them permission to ask me hard questions about maintaining sexual purity in my life. 

Pornography is a cheap counterfeit to fulfill our desire for intimacy!

     What we as human beings really long for is intimacy with another person.  When we struggle with finding this intimacy we try to fulfill that desire with images on a screen.  These images never satisfy us!  We always need more!  Lust is never satisfied!  It isn’t what we really want!

By God’s Grace, today I am able to say without hesitation that 

“I AM FREE FROM PORNOGRAPHY!”   

It has been a long journey and staying free is just as much as a battle as getting free. 

     If you struggle with pornography, I want you to know that you are not alone. Listen to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has come upon you except that which is common to man.  And God is faithful he will provide you with a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 

The title to this blog isn’t sarcastic.  Because I have experienced the damage that pornography brings, I truly want God to damn pornography in my life.  I want that for your life as well!

Here are a list of resources to help you: 

Preparing Your Son For Every Mans Battle

Every Young Mans Battle

Every Mans Battle

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