I am a proud father of three amazing kids and I love being a Dad! With that being said, being a father has also been one of the most demanding and frustrating experiences of my life! I get so frustrated with their immaturity and choices sometimes. Recently my nine year old daughter clogged a sink downstairs turned the water on and left! She said it was an accident when she flooded the basement. Fortunately, the overflowing sink was discovered before any real damage was done. But boy was that a frustrating mess to clean up!
But probably the most frustration I face as a parent is with myself. I feel so inadequate as a parent and get extremely disappointed when I lose my temper or patience with my kids. I think my biggest disappointment is when I look back at all of the times when I got lazy or distracted and completely disengaged as a parent.
My biggest temptation that causes disengagement is technology. I have such a love/hate relationship with technology. I have an iPhone 5 and an iPad 3. I have DirectTV and a flat panel TV. I am quite fond of these devices but yet get so frustrated at the disconnection that they can create with the living, breathing humans that fill my home and whom I love so much.
Recently after watching TV with my kids for an entire summer evening when the weather outside was beautiful, I decided I had to do something drastic. I disconnected the TV and hid it! The next day everyone wanted to know what happened to the TV. I told them that the TV was on vacation. There was a lot of crying and frustrated, dramatic statements at full volume! Good grief you would have thought that I killed their puppy!
The next day at a garage sale I found and old kiddy record player and several dozen records that I bought for for $2! I was pleasantly surprised at how much my kids fell in love with this thing. They thanked me several times for this new found treasure. But the statement that about gave me a heart attack was when my 9 year old daughter (the aforementioned daughter who flooded the basement) said "Thanks Dad for sending the TV on vacation!" Incredulously, I said "Why?" She said, "because when the TV is gone I spend a lot more time with my family." And then she said something that really nailed me to the wall. "Watching TV isn't really spending time with your family!" Out of the mouths of babes!
I have no idea how long this "TV on vacation" thing will work with my family, but I challenge you to try it with your family. Needless to say I am pleasantly surprised with the results so far!
God's word says in James that our lives are like a mist that quickly fades away. I continually wrestle with how to make the most of my life! Sometimes instead of blindly following our culture we need to take a moment and examine where this swiftly flowing river of culture is taking us to!
Maybe we need to unplug for a moment now and then to be able to ask ourselves some hard questions! I know it is a struggle for me to do this but every time I do, I am so glad I did!
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
God's Love ISN'T Unconditional!
One of the most common statements I hear preachers making is that "God's love is unconditional." I must admit, I have made that statement several times myself. Why would I make such a statement? Well, I heard a lot of other preachers make the statement and have read a lot of stuff in the Bible that seemed to back up that concept. But is God's love is really unconditional?
I am grateful that we have come along way from every sermon being "fire and brimstone," "turn or burn," "get right or get left," kind of messages. Most preachers today (popular ones anyway) no longer preach with a "God is mad at you, but if you beg him for forgiveness he might let you into heaven" attitude. It appears that we are getting a more accurate picture of the Love, Grace and Mercy God has for us.
With that said, I feel like we can go too far with statements like "God's love is unconditional." First lets define unconditional: "not limited by conditions." Here is where it gets tricky. David said that God's love is "as vast as the heavens." He also said that God's love is "unfailing." But I believe it has conditions:
#1 God's Character
God's love is unfailing because he is unfailing. His love is faithful because he is faithful. David goes on to say that his "faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds."
As humans we fail all the time. We are extremely unfaithful. We are incapable of showing "unconditional love." Human love is limited, because human beings are limited. Human love has conditions.
God's love is conditioned by his character.
John tells us something about God's character, "God is love."
David tells us that all of God's creation experiences his love to some degree. "You care for people and animals alike, O Lord." David also tells us that all humanity experiences God's love to some degree, "All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings."
Does God love every human being regardless of condition? Absolutely!
I realize that this is a fine line to walk. Paul also told us that salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done. God blesses us because of his goodness not ours, but yet he clearly communicates to us that he rewards our obedience.
I feel like I am in the "extreme middle" on this issue. There are extremes on each end that I believe do not honor God. The one extreme is a thinking that we are constantly striving to be good enough to "earn" God's love. The other extreme is thinking that our actions are irrelevant because "God still loves me."
My understanding of God's love is constantly growing. I challenge you to examine your pre-conceived ideas about his love.
Let me know what you think. Is God's love unconditional or conditional?
I am grateful that we have come along way from every sermon being "fire and brimstone," "turn or burn," "get right or get left," kind of messages. Most preachers today (popular ones anyway) no longer preach with a "God is mad at you, but if you beg him for forgiveness he might let you into heaven" attitude. It appears that we are getting a more accurate picture of the Love, Grace and Mercy God has for us.
With that said, I feel like we can go too far with statements like "God's love is unconditional." First lets define unconditional: "not limited by conditions." Here is where it gets tricky. David said that God's love is "as vast as the heavens." He also said that God's love is "unfailing." But I believe it has conditions:
#1 God's Character
God's love is unfailing because he is unfailing. His love is faithful because he is faithful. David goes on to say that his "faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds."
As humans we fail all the time. We are extremely unfaithful. We are incapable of showing "unconditional love." Human love is limited, because human beings are limited. Human love has conditions.
God's love is conditioned by his character.
John tells us something about God's character, "God is love."
David tells us that all of God's creation experiences his love to some degree. "You care for people and animals alike, O Lord." David also tells us that all humanity experiences God's love to some degree, "All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings."
Does God love every human being regardless of condition? Absolutely!
I believe that the conditions don't limit the amount of God's love but our experience of that love!
In the Old testament Jews experienced more of God's love than Gentiles because of the condition of the covenant / law.
#2 His Son
In the New Testament followers of Christ experience more of God's love than non-followers because of the condition of Jesus' death on the Cross! Paul tells us in Romans 11:17 that gentiles can now experience the blessings God promised Abraham and his children.
#3 Our FAITH
Paul tells us that it is through our faith that we are made right with God. It is through faith in Jesus Christ that we experience salvation. It is through faith that we experience relationship with God. It is through FAITH that we experience more of his Love!
#4 Our OBEDIENCE
Every time the Bible expresses a promise of blessing (e..g. If you, then God) it is a condition to our experiencing more of the Love of God through his blessings upon obedience.
I feel like I am in the "extreme middle" on this issue. There are extremes on each end that I believe do not honor God. The one extreme is a thinking that we are constantly striving to be good enough to "earn" God's love. The other extreme is thinking that our actions are irrelevant because "God still loves me."
My understanding of God's love is constantly growing. I challenge you to examine your pre-conceived ideas about his love.
Let me know what you think. Is God's love unconditional or conditional?
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Should we only accept good from God?
I love being a Dad but their are times when it is much more enjoyable than others. The times when I really don't enjoy being a Father is when I have to discipline my kids. I recently had to punish one of my kids because of a string of deceitful and dishonest acts. If you would have popped into my house at the moment I was disciplining them and would have seen their reaction to the punishment, you might have been tempted to label me an abusive father.
But before you call and report me for child abuse, you should know that what I did was take away a few of their most prized possessions and privileges, until their changed behavior could earn their redemption.
My children can tell by the look on my face and the tone of my voice when I am entering their room to administer punishment. Their reaction is not pleasant at all. It is quite the opposite reaction that I would receive if I entered their room to give them a gift, say an ice cream cone or a new toy. They are quite happy to see me in those moments. But what my children are not able to see because of their immaturity, is that my heart and motivation towards them is exactly the same in both of those moments. I want to bless them!
I totally understand why they don't see punishment, discipline and correction as a blessing. I didn't see those things as blessings either, when they came from my parents. But I am reminded of a quote from the book of Job: "Should we only accept good things from the hand of God and not bad?"
We will line up to buy the latest book on "6 easy steps to receiving God's blessings." But a book on "Making the most of God's correction" probably won't even make it on the shelves. We love to hear preachers tell us that God wants to fill our pockets with money, our houses with stuff, and our garages with a Lexus and an Escalade. But we have no desire to hear a message saying that sometimes God allows us to suffer pain. What preacher wants to preach "God disciplines those he loves?"
Pain comes into our lives through three different ways.
1. Through our choice.
I can warn my children that certain actions will result in pain, but they choose whether or not they will listen to me. God is the same towards us.
Their are some things that are out of his control! God chooses not to override our choices: therefore putting it out of his control.
2. Through another's choice.
Just as God chooses not to control our choices, he also chooses not to control other people's choices. Sometimes those choices result in other people causing us pain.
3. Through God's choice.
This is the hardest one for me to swallow. God allows painful circumstances into our lives. Why? Sometimes, it is to correct us. "No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening--it's painful! But afterward their will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." Hebrews 12:11
Sometimes, it is the devil trying to destroy our faith. Please don't ever pretend to be God and tell someone else that they are going through pain because God is punishing them. You have no idea! God wants us to respond out of love and compassion to someone's pain, not judgement and criticism.
The promise that I hold onto when I go through pain is Romans 8:28. (And I fully understand that the pain I have went through in my life is nothing compared to what others have endured! But God's promises our the same regardless.) "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
So I challenge you to ask God a couple of questions in the midst of pain, "What do you want to teach me through this?" and "How are you going to work this out for my good?"
But before you call and report me for child abuse, you should know that what I did was take away a few of their most prized possessions and privileges, until their changed behavior could earn their redemption.
My children can tell by the look on my face and the tone of my voice when I am entering their room to administer punishment. Their reaction is not pleasant at all. It is quite the opposite reaction that I would receive if I entered their room to give them a gift, say an ice cream cone or a new toy. They are quite happy to see me in those moments. But what my children are not able to see because of their immaturity, is that my heart and motivation towards them is exactly the same in both of those moments. I want to bless them!
I totally understand why they don't see punishment, discipline and correction as a blessing. I didn't see those things as blessings either, when they came from my parents. But I am reminded of a quote from the book of Job: "Should we only accept good things from the hand of God and not bad?"
We will line up to buy the latest book on "6 easy steps to receiving God's blessings." But a book on "Making the most of God's correction" probably won't even make it on the shelves. We love to hear preachers tell us that God wants to fill our pockets with money, our houses with stuff, and our garages with a Lexus and an Escalade. But we have no desire to hear a message saying that sometimes God allows us to suffer pain. What preacher wants to preach "God disciplines those he loves?"
Pain comes into our lives through three different ways.
1. Through our choice.
I can warn my children that certain actions will result in pain, but they choose whether or not they will listen to me. God is the same towards us.
Their are some things that are out of his control! God chooses not to override our choices: therefore putting it out of his control.
2. Through another's choice.
Just as God chooses not to control our choices, he also chooses not to control other people's choices. Sometimes those choices result in other people causing us pain.
3. Through God's choice.
This is the hardest one for me to swallow. God allows painful circumstances into our lives. Why? Sometimes, it is to correct us. "No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening--it's painful! But afterward their will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." Hebrews 12:11
Sometimes, it is the devil trying to destroy our faith. Please don't ever pretend to be God and tell someone else that they are going through pain because God is punishing them. You have no idea! God wants us to respond out of love and compassion to someone's pain, not judgement and criticism.
The promise that I hold onto when I go through pain is Romans 8:28. (And I fully understand that the pain I have went through in my life is nothing compared to what others have endured! But God's promises our the same regardless.) "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
So I challenge you to ask God a couple of questions in the midst of pain, "What do you want to teach me through this?" and "How are you going to work this out for my good?"
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
The gift of "finding yourself!"
Have you ever heard anyone say something like this, "I just need to find myself!" Or "I just need to figure out who I am!" It seems like a lot of young people are on this journey of "finding themselves." I think a lot of older people are on this same journey, they just might not use this same language. I know that I had to begin this journey of "finding myself" as a teenager.
I have looked to find my identity under a lot of different titles, "athlete, scholar, biker, banker, pastor, body-builder, strongman, husband, father, and even missionary." But it seemed like I could never fully "find myself" in just one of these titles. I had to "find myself" under a totally different title.
This journey of "finding yourself" isn't anything new, but is old as time. I was recently reading in Matthew 16, where Jesus asks the question, "Who do people say that I am?" His disciples have a myriad of different answers to what popular opinion is about Jesus, but then he asks a much more difficult question. "Who do you say that I am?" Your answer to this question has so much more to do with this "finding yourself" journey than you may think.
Peter's response is bold, "You are the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of the living God!" I love what Jesus says to him. "Peter, you didn't figure this out on your own." Or "This wasn't revealed to you by any human source." "God himself, let you in on this secret of who I really am!" This vision or revelation of Christ's true identity was a gift from God!
Look at how the Message paraphrase states the rest of the story: "And now I am going to tell you who you are, really are." Once Peter found out who God really was, he could find out who he really was. You can read all the Self-help books that you want. You can "look inside yourself" all you want, but you will never truly "find yourself." As this passage in Matthew later states, "Self-help is no help at all."
Vision for your life is not man-made. It is a gift from God. The creation cannot tell itself why it was created. It must ask the creator why it was created. You must know who God is before you can know who you are.
My journey of "finding myself" was ultimately settled at the destination of an entirely different title: "HIS!"
I have looked to find my identity under a lot of different titles, "athlete, scholar, biker, banker, pastor, body-builder, strongman, husband, father, and even missionary." But it seemed like I could never fully "find myself" in just one of these titles. I had to "find myself" under a totally different title.
This journey of "finding yourself" isn't anything new, but is old as time. I was recently reading in Matthew 16, where Jesus asks the question, "Who do people say that I am?" His disciples have a myriad of different answers to what popular opinion is about Jesus, but then he asks a much more difficult question. "Who do you say that I am?" Your answer to this question has so much more to do with this "finding yourself" journey than you may think.
Peter's response is bold, "You are the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of the living God!" I love what Jesus says to him. "Peter, you didn't figure this out on your own." Or "This wasn't revealed to you by any human source." "God himself, let you in on this secret of who I really am!" This vision or revelation of Christ's true identity was a gift from God!
Look at how the Message paraphrase states the rest of the story: "And now I am going to tell you who you are, really are." Once Peter found out who God really was, he could find out who he really was. You can read all the Self-help books that you want. You can "look inside yourself" all you want, but you will never truly "find yourself." As this passage in Matthew later states, "Self-help is no help at all."
Vision for your life is not man-made. It is a gift from God. The creation cannot tell itself why it was created. It must ask the creator why it was created. You must know who God is before you can know who you are.
My journey of "finding myself" was ultimately settled at the destination of an entirely different title: "HIS!"
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Everything we know about prayer is wrong!
I have been blessed to be surrounded by Christ-followers my entire life. I decided to become a Christ-follower myself at 5 years old. I will soon be 37 years old. So after following Christ for 30 plus years, I am still amazed at the glaringly obvious things I and my fellow Christ-followers have missed in the teachings of Jesus!
Let's take one of the most basic things that most "Christians" do - Praying over our meals. We typically bow our heads and ask God's blessing over our food. Nothing wrong with that, right?
Well, I have always been "that kid" who had to drive both my parents and my teachers crazy by asking that annoying question that no adult wants to constantly hear, "WHY?"
Why do we bow our heads and ask God's blessing over our food? Probably because we saw our parents do this, because they saw their parents do this and so on.
But I was recently reading in Matthew 14:19 "Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, lifted his face to heaven in prayer, blessed, broke, and gave the bread to the disciples." It is fascinating to me that Jesus takes the exact opposite posture in prayer that we do. He lifts his face to heaven, instead of bowing his head.
I began to ponder what the posture of lifting your face versus bowing your head communicates. Bowing your head could communicate surrender or humility, but it also could communicate guilt and shame. Once we repent of our sins and establish relationship with Jesus as our LORD, the Bible says we can now come "boldly to the throne of grace!" As Christ-followers we can come to God the father as Jesus did, as a son! If my children come to me with their face down, I suspect they are guilty of something. We don't have to come to God as lowly peasants, but as loved an accepted children.
I also love the fact that Jesus by lifting his face to heaven was ignoring the distractions of his current situation and reconnecting with his father. By lifting his face to heaven he was taking his eyes of the temporary and looking to the seat of order of all things eternal. He knew that food was a temporary thing but his relationship with the Father was eternal.
Also this word "blessed" in the text we take to mean that we ask God to bless our food, but the Jewish tradition was for the head of the household to "bless" or give thanks to God for the food. By bowing our heads we signify our insufficiencies, but by looking to heaven we signify God's abundance. Here is an example of a Jewish food "blessing": "Blessed art Thou, LORD our God, King of the universe, who by his word brings about all things!"
I challenge you to try this. Begin looking to heaven and thanking God for his blessings!
Let's take one of the most basic things that most "Christians" do - Praying over our meals. We typically bow our heads and ask God's blessing over our food. Nothing wrong with that, right?
Well, I have always been "that kid" who had to drive both my parents and my teachers crazy by asking that annoying question that no adult wants to constantly hear, "WHY?"
Why do we bow our heads and ask God's blessing over our food? Probably because we saw our parents do this, because they saw their parents do this and so on.
But I was recently reading in Matthew 14:19 "Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, lifted his face to heaven in prayer, blessed, broke, and gave the bread to the disciples." It is fascinating to me that Jesus takes the exact opposite posture in prayer that we do. He lifts his face to heaven, instead of bowing his head.
I began to ponder what the posture of lifting your face versus bowing your head communicates. Bowing your head could communicate surrender or humility, but it also could communicate guilt and shame. Once we repent of our sins and establish relationship with Jesus as our LORD, the Bible says we can now come "boldly to the throne of grace!" As Christ-followers we can come to God the father as Jesus did, as a son! If my children come to me with their face down, I suspect they are guilty of something. We don't have to come to God as lowly peasants, but as loved an accepted children.
I also love the fact that Jesus by lifting his face to heaven was ignoring the distractions of his current situation and reconnecting with his father. By lifting his face to heaven he was taking his eyes of the temporary and looking to the seat of order of all things eternal. He knew that food was a temporary thing but his relationship with the Father was eternal.
Also this word "blessed" in the text we take to mean that we ask God to bless our food, but the Jewish tradition was for the head of the household to "bless" or give thanks to God for the food. By bowing our heads we signify our insufficiencies, but by looking to heaven we signify God's abundance. Here is an example of a Jewish food "blessing": "Blessed art Thou, LORD our God, King of the universe, who by his word brings about all things!"
I challenge you to try this. Begin looking to heaven and thanking God for his blessings!
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