Marriage Is Suicide!

I stood there at the altar dressed in my all white tuxedo with tails.  Next to the woman of my dreams, I said things like “For Better or Worse,” “For Richer or Poorer,” “Till Death do us Part!”  I thought I knew what I was getting into, but I didn’t realize that it would result in my death! 

Don’t get me wrong I did marry an amazing woman.  Each day she wakes up before dawn and serves her family in incredible ways.  She cooks, cleans, gets kids ready for school, and on top of an endless list of duties she somehow can work a full-time job as well.  I clearly got the better end of this deal!

For most of the day, I am tempted to think that she doesn’t even need me.  She could do this without me.  Well that is until the end of the day.  Around 9 o’clock, my incredibly amazing, almost super-human wife begins to run out of gas!  This is the point where she clearly needs me!

She begins to fire requests at me in rapid succession.  “Could you please put the kids to bed?”  “Could you massage my shoulders?”  “Could you get me something to eat?”  This continues until she falls asleep.  I wish I could tell you that I always respond with a smile on my face and eager servitude, but I don’t.     

I often grumble and complain, because I am only thinking about myself.  I want to read my book!  I want to go to sleep! I have to get up early! Blah, Blah, Blah! 

Last night I actually refrained from this selfishness, bit my tongue and served my wife.  At each request I thought to myself, “It’s time to die!”  “It’s time to die to what I want and think of someone else!” 

I realize that this may seem a bit dramatic, but it is how my brain works.  I thought of the words of Jesus “Anyone who wants to follow me must deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me!”

Unfortunately, I think that this teaching of Jesus has gotten lost in the modern church's obsession with God’s blessings.  God definitely wants to bless you, but often his greatest blessings come when we die! 

When we die to selfishness, when we die to old patterns of living, that is when we truly begin to live! 

The day before I got married my Dad gave me the greatest advice.  He said that most people view marriage as 50/50.  I give 50%.  You give 50% and we meet in the middle at 100%.  My dad said that God’s idea of marriage is 100/100.  I give 100% of myself to you and you give 100% of yourself to me. 

This is where the rest of Jesus' statement comes in.  He gives us this paradox, "Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it."

I have realized that Marriage is Suicide!  To really have a great marriage I have to die!  I have to die to my own selfishness, but whenever I do I am resurrected to a new life that only God can give!