This morning I was on my way to church and I saw my homeless friend Alex standing by the side of the road begging. I pulled over and asked him if he wanted to go to church with me. He looked down at his clothes and said "No I just wouldn't feel comfortable."
"hey don't worry about it I am wearing Jeans and a t-shirt to church today."
"No I just wouldn't feel comfortable."
"We are having a special day today where we are having a free meal after church."
"No I just wouldn't feel comfortable."
"We are giving a weeks worth of groceries to every family that needs them."
"No I just wouldn't feel comfortable. If I walk in there looking like this, everyone will look at me."
"Don't worry about it, you can sit next to me, I am a pastor no one will give you a hard time."
"No I just wouldn't feel comfortable."
I drove away so sad that I couldn't convince Alex to come with me. I sat through the entire church service sad that I couldn't get Alex to come with me. I was sad that he had this idea that church was a place that he would feel out of place and where people would judge him.
Most importantly I was taken aback by my realization that it was Alex's pride that kept him from receiving help from the church. He has nothing but yet he was too proud to humble himself to come to church with me.
James says that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Our pride is the number one thing that will keep us from experiencing God's grace. Not the ugliness of our sin but the ugliness of our pride.
My experience with Alex has made me realize that our pride has nothing to do with how rich or poor we are but it is a sickness of our heart.
I will continue to do what I can to minister to Alex because he is the assignment God has given me and I desperately want him to experience the grace of Jesus Christ, but I realize that just like us, pride is the number one obstacle to him experiencing God's blessings.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteThe provocative title of this post caught my attention when I saw it on facebook, so I followed the link to your blog to see what you had to say. I was really hoping that the title was ironic, but unfortunately it does not appear to be.
You quote the following scripture: "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble". In my opinion, you can't find a more humble circumstance than begging, homeless, on the street. If a man can do that day after day and still maintain a shred of pride then let him have it, 'cuz it's the only thing he's got.
The fact that he is afraid to walk into a church service looking the way he does says a heck of a lot more about the church in general than it does about the sinfulness of that guy's heart, which you cannot see and should not judge. Instead of accusing Alex of avoiding church due to sinful motives, why not use your platform to challenge the church to examine itself? Why do some people have certain perceptions of church such that they would be hesitant even to show up for a free meal? What can your congregation do to change those perceptions and attract people like Alex, who would normally be too afraid to come?
You also say: "... it was Alex's pride that kept him from receiving help from the church." But perhaps the blame has been misappropriated to Alex when it ought to be assumed by the church. After all, it is the church's stipulation that if Alex wants help, he has to go listen to a sermon to get it. You call Alex a "friend", which implies that you see him at least once in a while and know how to find him. Nothing is stopping you from taking a week's worth of groceries to him if you want him to have it as badly as you say that you do.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, maybe WE are "the number one obstacle to him experiencing God's blessings".
You won't help Alex by writing a blog about him. Not to mention that even homeless people have access to the library and therefore the internet, which means that there is a chance Alex himself could read this. How do you think it would make him feel, to be reduced to an object lesson? He is real person.
Please don't misunderstand me. I haven't known you since I was a kid, but I remember that you are compassionate and honest and are motivated by good intentions. I truly believe that you care about Alex's physical and spiritual well-being, and I believe that you would not intentionally write a post that could come across as condescending and exploitative. It is entirely possible and maybe even probable that Alex is prideful, but we--those of us with full bellies and clean teeth who can drive past him in our air-conditioned cars to attend our air-conditioned churches where we will drink our hot coffee--have no right to point it out. None. And according to Jesus, old Alex may be in a better spiritual position than we are (see Matt. 19:24).
I can't imagine how stressful, demoralizing, painful, embarrassing, etc. it must be to be homeless. But I don't have to be able to imagine it to know that homelessness IS all of those horrible things and more. It is a shame that anyone goes without in a country as prosperous as ours. I believe that the ONLY appropriate way that those of us blessed with housing and food and security should be talking/writing about "the homeless" is in terms of how we can help them. How we can end homelessness. Not about how sinful homeless people are.
Thanks for letting me add my two cents. :)
Kristin (Graves) Cowens
Kristin, I am sorry that my blog offended you so deeply. The ironic thing is that you seem to be so angry with me for judging what is in Alex's heart but it seems like that is exactly what you are doing to me. When I call Alex a friend it is because I have worked with him for months. I bring him food at least once a week. I have brought him blankets and have given him some of my own clothes. I have offered to bring him to our church so he could shower and clean himself up. I have done everything I know how to do to bring him the help. So i find it very offensive that you would say that I am "the number one obstacle to him experiencing God's blessing." My point was that pride has nothing to do with how much or how little we have. I understand full well that I will not help Alex by writing a blog about him. I will continue to help Alex as I have many times, by sitting down in the dirt with him as we eat our Subway breakfast sandwiches and I continue to hear his story and pray over him. The fact is that Alex has been a blessing to me to help me see my own pride. I am sorry that you missed what was my intended point.
DeleteBrad,
DeleteI am very sorry that I did not convey myself well enough to be understood. I wasn't offended and I definitely wasn't angry and I regret that my post sounded that way. It was certainly not meant to be a personal attack against you, and I wasn't judging you for what you do or don't do to help Alex. I think my response has more to do with the condescending attitudes I have seen SO.MANY.TIMES. from the church regarding people less fortunate. I wasn't implying that you weren't doing enough for him (see comment below, which I posted immediately after) but that, because of the reputation the church (not YOUR church, but the CHURCH) unfortunately has, we should be careful how we talk about the homeless (and then I discussed the reasons why).
I should have considered the fact that, like in most things, I do not know the whole picture and therefore would be out of line in sharing my opinion. I think it is amazing that you have extended your friendship to Alex and have done everything you can to help him. It inspires me to want to do more for the people in my community. I jumped the gun when I posted this comment, and for that I'm sorry. I never meant to offend you.
Oh! I do want to add one thing. I think it is AMAZING that your church pulled together so many groceries to feed hungry families!! Truly amazing. Your congregation is among those who are actually doing something to help those in your community who need it--putting your money where your mouth is, so to speak. I want to be clear that I am not suggesting that you aren't doing enough, or aren't doing it the right way. (Just that maybe it is in poor taste to talk about how the homeless guy on the street is sinful for not wanting to come to church.) Keep up the good work!
ReplyDelete