Why do we hurt the ones we love?

     My wife and I are blessed to have three of the most beautiful children in the world!  (Yes, I am fully aware of how biased that statement is.)  Our kids our great students at school and rarely have discipline issues at church.  But I am amazed at how these beautiful angels can morph into something that I can't even recognize when they come home!
     Take our five year old Lydia for example.  She has such a sweet spirit and smile that melts my heart every time, but if you ever take something that is hers: Watch Out!  Yesterday, her brother made her mad, and my precious little angel walks across the room and punches him as hard as she can in the face!
     This kind of behavior always makes me livid, and I feel completely justified in my anger.  I think I would be just as angry if a random child came up and punched my son in the face.  I ask my daughter, "Do you act like that at school if someone makes you mad?"  Her response is always, "No, Daddy."  "Then why do you treat your brother like that?"  I respond.  For whatever reason, she can never answer that question.
     But if I were to be uncomfortably honest, I am guilty of the same behavior.  No, it isn't physical violence, so don't call DHS on me.  Many times I have found myself talking to my wife and children in a way that I would never speak to total strangers.  Why is that?  Why do we hurt the ones we love?
     Unfortunately, I think it is because we think we can get away with it.  We think our family is obligated to love us regardless of how we act.  I know the home should be a safe place to be ourselves, warts and all, but there has to be boundaries to our behavior.
     Listen to what Paul told Timothy "But those who won't care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith.  Such people are worse than unbelievers."  Could he have said it any more forcefully than this?  Obviously how we treat our family is a big deal to God.
     I want to emphasize that again.  God's word says that people who claim to be Christians but don't care for their family are worse than an unbelievers.
     Here is how the Message translation puts it "family members. . .let them learn that religion begins at their own doorstep. . . This pleases God immensely."
     So why should I give people I work with more grace than my family?  Why do I show more restraint with strangers that I interact with than with the people I love the most?  Sounds to me like I have things backwards.  I am trying my best to reverse this ugly fact of life in my family.
     Scripture tells us that if we will embrace the fact that "religion begins at our own doorstep" it pleases God immensely.  I am striving to be a person who is guilty of pleasing God immensely.